cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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