Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
