saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Slut skills are useful in every country.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
