Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
