Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
