that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
