nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
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