well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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