i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
