I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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