Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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