thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just saw a hot homeless man
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
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