Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
