my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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