Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you win again, gameday.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Randomize
