So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just cut my nipple shaving
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
