you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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