i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
