im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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