I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
