I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
