i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
