instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize