something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
