PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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