So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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