i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
