How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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