we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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