I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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