I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
