i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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