it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
