Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
