thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
