I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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