Whod you bang
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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