I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
