Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
