Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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