hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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