East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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