have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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