Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Randomize
