i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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