I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I lost the right to judge tonight
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
