She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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