Christians are straight up FREAKS
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
