My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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