I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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