I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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