talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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