If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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