mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Randomize