yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
