how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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