she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize