Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
