worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize