Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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