I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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