You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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