well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
