Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
