there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
