i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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