Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
