Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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