We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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