white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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