stop calling my apartment porn island.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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