Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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