I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
