Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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