We should be called the Road Head Warriors
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
