Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
